Veritably Strange
by 34561234
Summary: This is a Norberta story-Ninja was not involved in the writing. This is a rollicking adventure that was writted in the middle of the night by a friend  I'll call her "Lisle"  and me. Puck and Sabrina are sent out on a simple errand and things go... awry.
1. Chapter 1

Sabrina couldn't sleep. She realized after a few sleepless moments that she was really hungry. She sighed, rolled out of bed, and shuffled down to the kitchen. _If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em, _she thought blearily. She noticed with a start that someone was already in the kitchen. She rolled her eyes when she saw that the someone had a messy mop of blonde curly hair. Puck was raiding the kitchen – again.

"Oh, hey Grimm." Puck mumbled with his mouth full of food.

"Hey, Puck," Sabrina mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed as she looked for the peanut butter.

"What time is it?" Puck asked, to fill the silence.

"Uh, the clock's _right there_, and it's 2:58," Sabrina said, mostly teasing.

"Right. Wow. It's, um, late," Puck said.

"Yeah," Sabrina said.

There was a long pause, and at 3:00 Sabrina said, "Um, Puck? What exactly are you eating?"

Puck replied looking at his plate, "I'm not really sure, but it tastes good."

"You aren't sure?" Sabrina said, her eyes widened as she read the label on the can. "Puck this is dog food!"

"Oh," Puck said sheepishly. He laughed. "Oops. Well, at least it wasn't sausages!"

"That didn't make any sense," they said in unison.

"So, what are you eating?" Puck asked after a while.

"Peanut butter." Sabrina replied.

Puck raised his eyebrows. "We have peanut butter? I didn't think the old lady allowed anything normal in the pantry."

Sabrina giggled. "I bought it."

Puck laughed. "You're starting to think like me, Grimm."

"Eesh. That's a scary thought," Sabrina teased.

"Hey. I am a _king_. You could do worse than to think like a monarch," Puck replied seriously.

Sabrina laughed again. Puck said, "What?" and Sabrina laughed harder.

Puck said indignantly, "Hey. I am Puck, the Trickster King, role model of layab-"

Sabrina had placed her hand over his mouth. "Please, I don't need to hear that spiel again."

Puck grinned, and Sabrina removed her hand. "I guess I don't need to rub in my greatness any more than I already have," Puck teased.

Sabrina groaned in mock dismay. "You're going from bad to worse!"

They jumped as Uncle Jake said "I hate to break up your little flirtation, but you two should really be getting to bed."

"Flirtation?" Puck yelped. "Listen, Jake, I don't know what sick idea you have, but I am most certainly not flirting with Grimm! I mean, she is seriously all over me, but I'm—OW!"

Sabrina had socked him in the arm. "What he's _trying _to _say _is, Uncle Jake, that we were both up at the same time, and we were just talking."

Uncle Jake grinned doubtfully. "Whatever you say." HE turned to go back upstairs, but turned back unexpectedly and said, "Puck, what exactly are you eating?"

"Um, dog food." Puck answered shamefacedly. Uncle Jake gave Puck a dubious look and Sabrina tried not to laugh.

"Anyway, yeah. We really better get to bed before we wake anyone else up," Uncle Jake said.

"Yeah," Sabrina agreed, and Puck nodded. This time, Sabrina and Puck slept peacefully.

Severus Snape stirred the Veritaserum slowly, grumbling to himself. He had been stocking up since that hag Dolores Umbridge cleared out his last batch. He glanced at the recipe and went to get the next ingredient, eye of newt. Then he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. When he woke up three hours later, his Veritaserum, and the ingredients needed to complete it, was gone. He was in a particularly foul mood that day when teaching. In fact, when that fool Harry Potter spoke out of turn, Severus docked fifty points from Gryffindor.


	2. Chapter 2: Carrot Jelly?

At breakfast time in the Grimm household, Sabrina and Puck felt odd seeing each other in the hectic daytime atmosphere of the bright kitchen. Both their faces grew warm remembering their accidental late-night rendezvous, and when Uncle Jake tossed them a "knowing" glance, they blushed even more.

Granny Relda was looking through the pantry. "Hmm—where did this peanut butter come from?" she mused to herself, throwing away the mostly-full jar. "Oh, _lieblings_—I need some carrot jelly for dinner tonight. Could you please run down to Mulan's grocery store and buy some?"

"Sure—who do you want to go?" Sabrina asked.

"Well, I'd say you, Puck… Daphne… and Red. I want all of you for quality assurance. You'll probably pick the best between the four of you," Granny Relda decided.

"Sure thing, old lady," Puck said around an entire waffle. He was apparently famished, despite having just eaten a few hours ago.

Fifteen minutes later, they were on their way to Mulan's store in the Chinatown district of Ferryport Landing. "Carrot jelly," Red muttered. "I was not aware carrots could even be jellied and edible."

"Just because it can be done doesn't make it edible," Sabrina replied, cringing.

Just then, Red saw some pretty flowers off the side of the road. "Oh, look you guys," she said. "Come on, let's pick some flowers—I'm sure Granny will love them."

"Okay, sure," Daphne and Sabrina said, while Puck said, "Hey, Red, remember what happened the first time you did this?"

As they walked towards the flowers, the four noticed that the flowers—poppies, some might have observed—had an overpowering, unusually heady smell. But that didn't matter, because all they wanted to do was sleep…

"Perfect. They fell for it," the Wicked Witch of the West cackled, peering into her crystal ball.

"See, what did I tell you?" Nottingham said. "And once the Queen comes back with the potion, and Lucius finishes it, and Bellatrix retrieves the bodies with the spell she prepared, our plan will be almost complete."

"What did I tell you about name-dropping?" the Wicked Witch hissed, "There could be surveillance, you know.

"Sorry," the Sheriff of Nottingham replied humbly.

Not long later, everything the sheriff had mentioned had come to pass. When the four baffled kids woke up, there was a feast spread before them.

"I don't think we should eat that food," Sabrina said. "I mean, it could be drugged or something."

"What?" Puck said, swallowing a mouthful of food. A glazed look spread over his face. "SabrinaIthinkyou'rereallypretty. WHOAIdon'tknowwherethatcamefrom. Butit'strue." Words were shooting out of Puck's mouth, despite and obvious effort to retain them.

The three girls looked shocked. A voice in the corner explained, "Veritaserum. It makes you tell the truth, whether you like it or not. Your friend is reacting to it more strongly than anyone else I've seen, though."

"What did I _tell _you?" Lucius Malfoy said. "Just a drop. Not the entire _cauldron." _


	3. Chapter Three: Liar, Liar

"Um, who are you?" Sabrina said, while Puck babbled incoherently in the corner.

"I'm Ron Weasley," Ron Weasley said. "And as I was _saying _before you interrupted—and I know you're going to tell me your name, but do it later because I honestly don't care—your babbling friend who _needs to shut up_" -Puck showed no sign of hearing – "has gotten a lot more Veritaserum than he was supposed to. Whoever's running this bloody operation clearly doesn't know their potions. Neither do I, for that matter, but I know an overdose when I see one. I think, right now, whatever's he's saying is the true side to all the lies he's ever told." He paused for a moment and said, "OH _God_, I'm turning into Hermione."

"Why are you here?" Sabrina asked. "I'm Sabrina, by the way."

"Don't know. Not like I'm useful," he said a bit ruefully. "Not unless they need someone to play wizard chess or make a reckless decision."

"Oh. Great."  
>Puck had apparently gotten closer to the present-day in his string of lies, babbling, "IhateMothshe'sanawfulawfulgirlIdon'twanttomarryherandIhateyoutoo,Father,you'-"<p>

Ron whistled. "Heavy stuff, your friend's got. He looks a bit young to be married, though."

"Yes, um," Sabrina said, searching for an explanation, "well, his father is a little old-fashioned, believes in arranged marriages… Moth _was_ awful," Sabrina finished aimlessly.

"Fantastic," Ron said dryly.

"Idon'twanttomovetoAmericaI'mhappyinEnglandthere'sthisgirl-"

"He never told me about that!" Sabrina exclaimed.

"'tgottenthechancetobeatupyet-"

"Oh," Sabrina said, relieved for reasons she wouldn't admit to even herself.

Sabrina looked down at herself and realized, "We aren't shackled or tied up or anything. I wonder why."

"It's because the door weighs probably a million pounds and has like a million locks, and there's practically a million-foot drop from the windows, and they usually don't bother to restrain people they're just going to kill soon anyway," Ron said glumly.

"Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine," Sabrina remarked.

"I'm _sorry. _I've gone from trying to save the world while simultaneously almost getting killed back in England, and now I'm definitely going to be killed here."

"I think it's more than that," Sabrina said slyly.

"Yes, there's something more serious than _dying _on my mind," the British boy said sarcastically.

Sabrina raised her eyebrows.

"Fine. There's this girl at home… I never told her… something…" The boy's face was turning as red as his hair.

"I can't _believe _this," the Wicked Witch said disgustedly. "Puck isn't telling us anything we didn't know, and in the meantime we have to listen to that ginger's sob story. Why is he even here, anyway?"

Lucius mumbled, "He could, er, disrupt our new world order?"

The Wicked Witch looked at him.

"Fine. I want that abominable Harry Potter to suffer greatly before he dies," Lucius admitted.

Bellatrix cackled.


	4. Chapter Four: Hubba Hubba

Ron finished, "….and even though I can't stand her, I can't live without her!"

"Gee, where have I heard that one before, _Sabrina_?" Daphne replied meaningfully. Sabrina shot a dirty look at her that clearly said _Shut up!_

Ron cleared his throat. "Anyway," he said, trying to diffuse the sisterly tension, "in case you were interested, I'm pretty sure this room is bugged, seeing as your friend is spilling the beans and no one's in here."

"Oh," Sabrina said, "by the way, that's Puck. She's Daphne, and that's Red."

"Like I said, really not interested," Ron said. "Really only interested in staying alive."

Meanwhile, Duck had progressed to more recent lies. "Charming'sstayingatourhouse, he', IreallydoloveSabrina…"

Sabrina's eyes widened as she realized Puck was starting to give away precious and/or embarrassing information. She employed the only mode to shut him up that she could think of, one that she had seen on TV a few times—she kissed him.

Daphne hooted and Ron yelled, "Hubba hubba!" Red just shrieked.

Puck was still talking while Sabrina kissed him, but it was inaudible now. Puck had the sort of look on his face that he only got after pulling off a prank that he wasn't sure was going to work, or once when he got what he really wanted for Christmas.

After a few seconds, Ron said, "Well, small American brats, I'm going to have to ask you to look away, as Sabrina is looking as if she wants to possibly get PG, or even" Ron pretended to look shocked—"_PG-13._"

The Wicked Witch howled angrily, Lucius cursed under his breath, Bellatrix screamed in disgust, and the sheriff grumbled, "Oh, of course."

The other three looked at him. "Of course _what?_" Bellatrix asked finally.

"Of course they had to get romantic right when the boy was becoming useful." Nottingham sneered.

"Well, disgust is all very well and good when the situation is unsalvageable, but I prefer action rather than complaining. I'm going to go pry them off of each other.

The boy could still be useful." And with that, Lucius Malfoy stalked down the hall in his usual theatrical style.

Sabrina pulled away from Puck, who was finally quiet. Sabrina glanced at Ron. "Why did he stop… truth-ing?" she asked.

Ron shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe he was done. Maybe the force of your little _snogging _session knocked some sense into him."

Puck looked extremely dazed. "Sabrina—did you—uh—never mind."

"What?" Sabrina asked.

"Nothing," Puck said, immediately followed by, "Iwantedtoask:?"

"Um," Sabrina said. "Um."

"Oh, come _on,_" Ron interjected. "I can be more eloquent than that, and I don't even do my own homework!"

"What did you want it to mean?" Sabrina asked evasively.

"Don't make him answer that! He admitted it during his babbling!" Daphne said.

"Fine!" Sabrina snapped. "Yeah, I did. Mean it. Romantically."

"OH, _bravo_!" Ron said sarcastically. "Give that girl a medal!"

"Okay," Puck said, ignoring Ron. "So you don't mind if I do this?"

He pulled her close and kissed her again, for real this time.

Sabrina did not mind one bit.

Down the hall, the villains groaned.

Back at home, Granny wondered why her carrot jelly was taking so long.

Ron cleared his throat. "Well, it's all well and good that we've worked through our apparent relationship problems, but I think we might have to consider… gosh, I don't know… maybe _getting out of here?_"

"You guys can go on ahead," Puck said distractedly, suddenly noticing just how blue Sabrina's eyes were.

Ron groaned. "Well, let's try this: _Alohomora!_" The "like a million locks" sprung open. "Well," Ron said, looking surprised and stowing his wand. "That was easy."


	5. Chapter Five: Out with a Bang

"Didn't you charm the locks?" Lucius screamed at Bellatrix.

"I _assumed _you confiscated his wand!" Bellatrix screamed back.

The Queen of Hearts came back from applying her makeup. "What did I miss?" she asked.

Ron, Red, Daphne, Puck, and Sabrina sauntered out the heavy wooden double doors, the last two walking hand in hand. Of course it wasn't that easy, though, because the villains raced out after them.

*EPIC CHASE SCENE*

"Whew, that was a close one!" Ron panted.

"Good thing there was a bucket of water to finish off the Witch!" Puck said.

"Good thing the rest of them were afraid of water, too," Sabrina added.

"I'm still not totally convinced carrot jelly exists," Red commented.

"I totally forgot about that!" Puck said.

"…Carrot…jelly?" Ron inquired.

"Don't ask," Daphne and Sabrina said together.

"What do you think could be taking them so long?" Granny Relda inquired aloud.

Uncle Jake and Veronica shrugged. Henry looked worried. Mr. Canis was nowhere to be seen.

By the time Puck, Sabrina, Red, and Daphne reached Mulan's store, Ron had "Disapparated," whatever that meant; and Mr. Canis was waiting outside the front doors.

"There you children are!" he said, smiling. "I was worried sick about you!"

"Yeah, we got kidnapped and stuff. What can ya do," Puck said, shrugging.

"I see. Yes. Anyway, I already bought the carrot jelly for you. And some peanut butter, too," Mr. Canis added with a wink.

Ron Apparated to The Burrow, and Mr. Weasley was able to get him to Hogwarts from there in his newest "modified" car. Once there, Ron had some important business to attend to.

"Er… Hermione," he said awkwardly, as he shoved Lavender Brown away from him. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Granny Relda leapt up as the two Grimms and the three "Grimms" came in the door.

"There you are, _lieblings!" _she cooed. Henry rushed to the door, causing Puck and Sabrina to hurriedly drop each others' hands.

"Puck and Sabrina are _dating!" _Daphne blurted.

"It's about time!" Jake, Veronica, and Granny said together.

A vein began to throb in Henry Grimm's forehead.

Mr. Canis only smiled.

"Hey, chillax, Hank. We aren't actually dating; Daphne just made that up," Puck said. Henry nodded. Daphne making things up was a fairly common occurrence. Puck continued, "Further-whatever, if we are to, like, date and stuff in the future, you can definitely trust me with your daughter or whatever it is you want to hear that is true. Seriously, you can try me, because I'm on this truth-potion thing right now. Dunno."

Henry studied his face. "I don't think I need to, but I feel like I— I don't really know if—Veronica!" he shouted.

"Puck, do you love my daughter?" Veronica asked nonchalantly.

"_Why _do we have to—yes, I love your daughter! I love Sabrina Grimm! Does anyone else want to ask that question?" Puck's eyes turned black with frustration. He hated having to repeat himself. He felt everything he said was important enough for everyone to listen the first time.

"Well, that's sweet. Henry—any more questions? What do you think?" Veronica asked.

"Do we ask if he respects her?" Henry asked uncertainly.

"I think that goes along with being in love with her," Jake mused.

"I'm still here. And you're talking about me like I'm not," Puck groused.

Sabrina kissed him on the cheek and he looked quite a bit happier. Henry did not.

~THE END~


End file.
